I just learned about the coffee share from The Daily Post this past week and I thought I’d give it a try.
If we were having coffee I’d order something fancy, with extra espresso. I’d tell you, “I need this today.” I’m sure you’d wonder why, so I’d explain…
I just found out I won’t have a job next year. I suppose that’s dependent upon whether I get a “call-back”, but if I waited around for that all the teaching jobs would be filled and I’d be out of a position. The budget in our district is in a deficit and they request a $0 increase for next year. Not a good combination.
The bright side is my boyfriend just got accepted to CalArts for grad school. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that I no longer have to choose between leaving with him or staying at my job. For the first time in my 24 years of life I will be moving more than an hour from where I grew up in Connecticut. In fact, I’ll be moving to the opposite side of the country.
And I’m terrified.
But of course also very excited. I want to be out on my own and explore the world, but it is with a conflicted heart that I will leave. I moved back home this year to help take care of my mom who has stage 7 Alzheimer’s. I’m thankful I can help my family in this time of need, but this year has been so hard.
My mom needs help with everything: eating, dressing, using the bathroom, bathing, walking…etc. Most days I am able to be there for her with a smile on my face and some silly antics to make her laugh and smile. Some days I have to fight back tears over how she’s changed and will never be the same.
I have no idea what I will do in California. I don’t want to teach next year. I want to try something new. I want to write. But I know I have a lot to learn. So this week I am sad, scared, and hesitantly optimistic at all the possibilities my future could hold.
(And I think I could use a second cup of coffee.)