I just learned about the coffee share from The Daily Post this past week and I thought I’d give it a try.

If we were having coffee I’d order something fancy, with extra espresso. I’d tell you, “I need this today.” I’m sure you’d wonder why, so I’d explain…

I just found out I won’t have a job next year. I suppose that’s dependent upon whether I get a “call-back”, but if I waited around for that all the teaching jobs would be filled and I’d be out of a position. The budget in our district is in a deficit and they request a $0 increase for next year. Not a good combination.

The bright side is my boyfriend just got accepted to CalArts for grad school. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that I no longer have to choose between leaving with him or staying at my job. For the first time in my 24 years of life I will be moving more than an hour from where I grew up in Connecticut. In fact, I’ll be moving to the opposite side of the country.

And I’m terrified.

But of course also very excited. I want to be out on my own and explore the world, but it is with a conflicted heart that I will leave. I moved back home this year to help take care of my mom who has stage 7 Alzheimer’s. I’m thankful I can help my family in this time of need, but this year has been so hard.

My mom needs help with everything: eating, dressing, using the bathroom, bathing, walking…etc. Most days I am able to be there for her with a smile on my face and some silly antics to make her laugh and smile. Some days I have to fight back tears over how she’s changed and will never be the same.

I have no idea what I will do in California. I don’t want to teach next year. I want to try something new. I want to write. But I know I have a lot to learn. So this week I am sad, scared, and hesitantly optimistic at all the possibilities my future could hold.

(And I think I could use a second cup of coffee.)

2 thoughts on “#WeekendCoffeeShare

  1. Well, well welcome to the coffee share (for some reason a misspelt coffee turned into a cider there).
    It sounds like you are in need of some hugs, and open ears.
    Go ahead try something new! I have the feeling trying something new is always easier when what we currently do can no longer be done or if our situation changes drastically.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You definitely deserve a second coffee i think, but no espresso this time 🙂
    Sounds like you’re going though a lot of confusion and upset at the moment. It won’t always be like that. Your path will clear up. California sounds like a nice place to start a new adventure, when you are ready. Take care x.

    Liked by 1 person

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