Scorched

I’m burning up inside.

These changes cauterize my soul.

I’m engulfed in your dilemmas.

Your fleeting fancies take their toll.

 

A nervous pit begins to fester

In my gut, weighted by lead.

These tales a sinking reminder,

Anchoring me to waste in bed.

 

Why is my heart so flustered,

Skipping beats and out of time?

I’m choking on my air.

I’m boiling inside a cage of rhyme.

 

Let me roast in flickering flames.

They leap and spit and sear.

You will spout out some devotion.

I will tell you what you want to hear.

 

What is this new feeling?

Anxiety hot, a blazing beacon.

Brand my body with this sign,

Let the world know how I weaken.

 

How I tremble at the thought

Of something new and unknown,

How I writhe in my own embers.

Just let me burn alone.

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14 thoughts on “Scorched

  1. I suffered a lot from anxiety when I was younger. Some of it was grief and/or anger that I kept inside instead of expressing in healthy ways. Writing really helped me too, and I eventually found my way out of it. I’m glad you’re writing, and you’re good at it. This one especially is very powerful. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your experience and of course for complimenting my writing. 😊 I dealt with it a lot in high school and now it seems to be coming back I think from moving back home to take care of my mom.

      Like

      • Yeah, I though maybe the intensity of that caregiving was coming through. I had a somewhat similar, though different situation with my mom, and when I left home my anxiety dropped noticeably. For me, that feeling had a lot to do with grief at what she was suffering, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Just understanding that the feeling was ‘normal’ and was not ‘me’, but rather something that came from a real source that could be dealt with and would eventually pass was really helpful because it made me quit fearing the feeling. Half of my anxiety was fear of what it was or that it would overwhelm me, and when I knew what it was I could find ways to dispel much or all of it. Take care…

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yea that makes so much sense. It is a combination for me I think of dealing with the grief and the stress of living at home in general. I feel a lot like everyone is depending on me so I’m carrying the weight of everyone else’s burden and I’m not sure who I can share mine with. But I am also moving soon and I know almost certainly much of the stress will be lifted and hopefully I can go back to my feeling of “normal” as well. It’s nice to hear your story and to feel like there’s definitely hope, thanks for stopping by 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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