One Year

It has been a year since I created this blog. I got the notification this morning, and it’s caused me to be a bit reflective today. A year ago I felt desperate. Trapped in a life that felt no longer like my own. Stuck down a path that I felt like I had willingly chosen, but not truly considered the consequences of my choices. I created this blog as a way to escape. Writing has always done this for me, allowed me my piece of escapism. It helps me sort through my emotions and come to reason with my over-analytic thoughts. Even though I have not been able to post consistently since my move to California, I still think starting this blog is one of the best life choices I have made. It started me down a road of my own choosing, and steered me in a healthier direction, towards life.

One year ago today, I felt like I HAD to share my writing about the struggles of having a parent with Alzheimer’s. I think about why this was, and I think it’s because I’m not able to communicate in conversation the way I am in words. What I really needed was a way to find my voice, and to feel like I was finally being heard and understood. I found that here through the WordPress community. I found people who read my words and connected with me, and shared their own stories that I could relate to. I read stories that brought tears to my eyes and was told I had done the same. I opened up this channel of human connection and interaction that I know I was lacking in my life away from the keyboard, and honestly, I think that has changed my whole life.

I got the courage to apply for my MFA in Creative Writing. This is something I have always dreamed of doing, but never thought I really could. The kind of dream where a child says, “I’m going to be a movie star when I grow up!” and you say, “Sure, kid, whatever you say.” That’s the kind of dream this was for me. Mostly, I was terrified that by applying I would find out what I always dreaded….I wouldn’t be good enough for a writing program. I got an email saying my documents were ready to be viewed and I literally started shaking. I read the first three words “We are delighted” and my eyes began to tear. I got accepted! I actually applied for two different programs, music and writing, and got accepted to both. This is honestly something I had not thought was possible. Something this, seemingly insignificant, blog helped me facilitate.

I have three jobs that I LOVE here in California, and my life is probably the busiest it has ever been. I cannot promise to post or read with any sort of consistency, but I will not give up this blog, and I will not forget the positive change it has brought about in my life. I would like the people I have interacted with to know that I still think of them and their blogs often. Something I read in a post or comment will still make me smile or be a topic of conversation. I cherish the bloggers I have crossed paths with time and time again, as they have been my teachers in this new domain. Thank you WordPress community, it has been an incredible year.

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