Happy Father’s Day

My family and I went to church this morning and I heard something that’s been sticking with me in the sermon. One of my best friends, who I have been friends with since I actually have memories of having friends, and who I could not even begin to imagine what my life would be like without her, was in a serious car accident. She has made great improvements and has finally been moved from the ICU. Our pastor said he was touched by the outpouring of love for her, and that we should treat every person as if they were her sibling, because every person deserves that much love.

This comes in the wake of many tragedies, not only for our small community, where a boy from my high school was killed in a hit-and-run, another died from drug overdose, my dear friend passed from cancer, and two car accidents injured members of our very small town, but also tragedies for the world like the Orlando shootings and the fact that this fanatic hate still pervades part of humanity.

Every person deserves love. The kind that is flowing and concerned, anxious and well-meaning. The kind that is protective and caring, patient and fierce.

What does that have to do with my father?

momanddad

When emergencies happen we go into survival mode. When accidents happen we rush to find solutions and help however we can. But I’ve noticed, and maybe you have too, that when something extends we tend to let it slide. Big issues, even, if they persist long enough we throw up our hands and say what can be done?

My mom has an issue that extends. She declines in functionality everyday from Alzheimer’s. And although we are given an outpouring of love, it is not with the sense of urgency like after an accident. People understand the disease takes time. They do not spend their days worrying if Mom will make good strides today like I worry myself about my friend. Every once in awhile they ask how we are doing and it fills our hearts and makes us feel cared for. It’s a beautiful thing: love.

But what people don’t always realize, and there’s really no reason for them to know this, is the amount of sacrifice my dad puts into taking care of my mom. How he makes every decision with her well-being in mind first. How his work has become being a caregiver. How he has to bathe, feed, dress, clean, and take care of my mom for everything. He plans his actions and words to make her feel most valued. And if you ask him about it, he acts like it’s NO BIG DEAL. He will not complain about how hard it is, he will not ever act like it is a burden. He is a hero. And he would never call himself one.

My dad has his own blog,Β Humanity Hiker, which has morphed over the years. It started more as a place to document his travels with my mom as they hiked The American Discovery Trail, but now it is essentially a brain health and caregiver blog. He started a campaign to try and raise money to help my family turn our tub into a walk-in shower because my mom can’t walk over the lip of the tub and he has to pick her up and put her in. It is an okay solution, but not for the long term as my mom continues to decline. We need to act fast, and we need the immediate outpouring of love that comes with emergencies and accidents. My dad won’t make a crowd-funding page. Instead, he produced a track with his band, The Bards of Balance, and wants people to just pay 99 cents for it. In return, you will get calming music to meditate to, and we will get some money to help get a shower for my mom. He also has a donate button on the sidebar of his website which can be used with PayPal or credit card. Nobody in my family likes asking for money, we’re not really good at asking for the simplest bit of help. But I am asking now.

I am going to attach the links to all the posts my dad has made for this campaign. I hope that you will take a look and consider helping my dad make a difference for my mom.

Announcement: Calm the Mind

Give Me Some Sugar

A Tuft of Flowers

Motorcycle Mama

Family Embedded in a Community

Happy Father’s Day, to a man who is selfless and driven in his pursuit to care for my mother, and who teaches me daily the values of family and love. I have learned independence, responsibility, and reasoning from my father. Three of my most precious traits. I love you, Dad!!

graduation.jpg

 

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43 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day

  1. Such a great and important post – I visited my Mum today and she remarked, in the middle of a great deal of confused repetition “It’s hard to lead your life when it doesn’t belong to you.” Then it was straight back to confusion again. It’s so tough to watch – best wishes to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a beautiful example of what the word Love means, in its highest sense. My mum, who passed away years ago, took care of her mum who suffered from Alzheimer as well for years (my grandma is still alive and she was “lucky” enough to have a slowly developing form), and I always thought that there is nothing more loving that putting someone else’s wellbeing first.
    Will repost soon your blog and do what I can to help. A warm though for your great family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your kind words and reposting. I’m sorry your family has experienced this disease as well, but we are blessed to see that special type of love of devoting your life to helping care for someone else. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment πŸ’•

      Like

  3. This is amazing, Serena. What a wonderful tribute. Prayers abound for your your parents and we are in awe of what your dad does everyday. Thank you for the reminder of how we can help. Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a gorgeous tribute to your father!!
    Found my way here through the reblog of this post and I’m so glad I followed the link to find you…
    It pains my heart to say I won’t be able to contribute financially… Many times I bump into such genuine requests and I find myself helpless for not being able to contribute anything (as I’m between jobs myself).. I wonder if it makes me a bad person, if it means I’m hypocritical or rude or just bad!!! But I will send my heartfelt prayers your way and hope that they give you strength to deal with this situation and courage to stick around without giving up!!!
    Lots of love to you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your dad is a man who understands the importance of keeping a promise, “…to love, honor, and cherish … in sickness and in health…” that so many today don’t. An honorable man who believes he is just doing the right thing. He is.

    The music is beautiful, and I am pleased to have downloaded it. Which instrument does your dad play?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on Space, Time, and Raspberries and commented:
    Here is a man who lives the promises he made the day he married his wife. Now he needs help to keep her comfortable as she succumbs to the slow demise of Alzheimer’s. But he’s offering you a lovely piece of calming music by his band for $0.99 to accumulate the help he and his wife need.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: The meaning of love | Random thoughts of a sleepless mind

  8. Pingback: No Big Deal | HUMANITY HIKER

  9. Serena, I got to this blog from a link on humanity hiker. I hiked with your dad in 1983 on the AT and knew him at Eastern before that. I have always admired him and what he does for Cindy is no surprise, but amazing none the less. A living example of true love. My prayers are with all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

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